1.
One of my students in computer class was a pianist from Russia. She was a petite blonde, and everybody thought we had a thing going. We hadn't. She later turned up as the pianist in my daughter's ballet class.
She'd tried giving private lessons to rich kids. This didn't work out too well. The parents kept complaining that she gave their darlings things to practice.
Yes, read that again.
That girl and I were good friends. I recognised something in her from myself. Discipline. The discipline of art. The discipline to study and to practice, for hours each day, in pursuit of art. If you haven't been there, you don't know and will never know.
I can't remember how I came upon Valentina Lisitsa. It probably had something to do with Victoria Nuland's latest revolution. The story of Odessa, the story of Inna. Horrific tales, one after the other.
We had Twitter accounts back then. We didn't follow many people, but we followed Val, and she followed us. I used to trade jokes with her on a regular basis. One I remember was how a girl on YouTube claimed she'd got pregnant listening to yet another masterpiece in wizardry and speed by Valentina Lisitsa. Val thought it was funny. Lots of remarks like that kept flying in all the time at YouTube. Valentina is that amazing.
She offered us tickets to her performance at the Barbican. We'd never met, but there you go. We couldn't get to London from down in the Med, but we thanked her. Only later did I find out that a lot of our friends from the same social circles also turned up. One of them posted the photos from backstage.
Valentina is not only the greatest living pianist, period, she's also an incredible human being, so full of love and joy and optimism. As she told her story, bits and pieces one now tries to tie together, she'd actually been touring as a chess player with her husband, they were ensconced in New Bern, North Carolina, home of Pepsi-Cola, a town we'd visited, but now things were getting tight. Val turned to eBay to sell off kitchen appliances to make a bit of cash. Then her husband thought 'why don't we make a video clip of you playing piano and upload it to YouTube'. The audio was out of sync but the clip took off. The world's first online classical pianist success story took off. Suddenly she had a contract with Decca. Suddenly she was playing the Barbican. Suddenly she was playing the Royal Albert Hall.
There's a clip out there somewhere of Val's preliminary release party before the RAH concert. She found a big bug in the dressing room at the RAH, put it in a bag, then went out back on the lawn to release it, all while someone filmed it for her.
Her concert collided with a major footie match, so she paused between numbers to give the audience the latest updates on the match.
That's Val. That's who she is.
There's also a clip out there somewhere of her, presumably in her Paris flat, playing the harmonica with her dogs. Three as I remember, a motley crew, an Alsatian, a tiny poodle, and a third I can't recall. Val blows into the harmonica and they go crazy, howling at the moon. It's hilarious.
Toria Nuland planned extensively. Yanukovych was corrupt but he was elected. Which is why Russia respected him. Not for what he was but for the people who elected him. His country, already one of the most corrupt in the world, was going bankrupt. They needed money fast. The people in the east, ethnic Russians, wanted him to ask Putin. Which he did. Putin said OK, but suggested getting further partners on the deal. The people in the west, part of that area of hard-core Nazis that Allen Dulles forbade Nuremberg from pursuing, wanted Yanukovych to deal with the EU instead. OK, said Yanukovych, who headed off to Brussels.
Brussels offered Yanukovych a deal he couldn't possibly not refuse. He was offered only a small part of the money needed, and only on the condition he didn't go elsewhere to get the rest of the money. How do they say 'WTF' in Russian? So Yanukovych had to come back home and announce his intention to keep working on the deal with Russia. And that's when all hell broke loose.
Valentina's parents are Russian and Ukrainian. Val wants no part of any conflict. Val wants no conflict period. If you can find her clips from the parks of Paris and from the train stations in England, you can see what she's all about.
But that's not good enough for the Nazis.
Nazis, you ask. Yes, Nuremberg was to eradicate Nazi ideology once and for all. Except Allen Dulles said no. Eventually the really hard-core Nazis, the Bandera Nazis who'd carried out two of the most horrific atrocities of all time, in Volyn and Babi Yar, made their way to Canada. Those Nazis now have representation by Chrystia Freeland in the Canadian government.
Valentina was on her way to a concert tour of Canada. Because Valentina had not come out with Nazi sentiments, because she was part Ukrainian by birth, the Nazis in Canada tried to cancel her tour. They did succeed in getting one gig stopped.
Ah the power of Brandon. Or was it Sullivan too? The mastermind of Nord Stream? Or Nuland, the Maidan Cookie Monster? But things were at a fever pitch. And even though more and more people are finally waking up to the biggest con job in world history, Valentina was getting the squeeze.
I'm writing to RIA in the hopes that they know where Val is, and she'll have the ability to write. I miss her dearly. She's one of the most precious people on this planet.
Following is a somewhat polished version of a machine translation of a piece published last August that I only found this morning.
You can find Valentina on YouTube. She's got nearly 300 million views. That's extraordinary - and unique - for a classical musician.
Send her your love.
2.
'I cry at the piano'
Valentina Lisitsa canceled in the West
2022-06-28 MOSCOW - RIA Novosti / Elena Korotkova
Star of the world classical scene Valentina Lisitsa conquered first her native Kiev, then the US. She also played the best venues in Europe and Asia. But over the past few months, almost all of her foreign performances have been canceled because of her position on the Donbass and her concert in Mariupol on 9 May.
When I arrived from Paris, I went to the piano and cried. One of my last concerts was in France. Since the beginning of March, I have had only two performances out of 25-30 scheduled. And in Paris, they threatened both me and the organisers. They promised protests. We had to bring in the police to protect not only us but also the public. But there was a full house and an incredible applause! Belgrade also had a very welcoming atmosphere.
Of all the canceled concerts, Budapest was the most difficult. But I was glad that the organisers at least did not lie: they sent a letter saying that the performance would not take place at the request of the Ukrainian embassy.
By the way, the director of the National Theater of Hungary publicly condemned the 'cancellation'.
They also wrote to me from the German festival where I was supposed to play - that my appearance in Mariupol allegedly does not correspond to European values.
But the hardest part is being asked to write your own letters.
'You have to clear your name, you have half an hour to decide: either write a letter or cancel the concert.'
Such conditions were laid out to me by foreign promoters. At first, they asked me to simply speak out on paper, then they started publishing these statements in the press.
It was all very painful. I was even offered to speak on condition of anonymity, without being mentioned in the poster.
Our seven-year contract, which my husband and I signed with a major record label [Decca?] in January, was canceled. My husband, also a musician, makes professional recordings of piano music.
After an article in Le Figaro about my trip to Mariupol, we were called in to talk. Our partners were furious. At the same time, after the meeting, the head of the company called my husband back from a hidden number, apologised and expressed hope for further cooperation once the situation improved. He said that he was forbidden to even talk to us.
In 2014, I was banned from Toronto because of my comments on social media. Actually, I didn't say anything, I simply translated news about the situation in Ukraine into English. I was warned but I didn't listen. Toronto, I believe, is the capital of the radical 'Bandera' part of the Ukrainian diaspora in Canada. It was they who demanded I be cancelled. But only one concert was canceled.
Now they're back at it again, and now with my speech in 2015 in the Donbass. Although in recent years I have not shown myself in any way. My husband has parents in Kiev, and we fear for their lives.
Now, in my opinion, is a time of opportunity for those who have not succeeded in the profession. I'm still surprised: requests to cancel my concerts are often written by former colleagues or those with whom I studied. They can finally get even with those who had more successful careers.
In social networks, they send me to 'play for the Buryats' (so they write). And I don't understand why it's less prestigious than, for example, performing in front of the Germans. I know that there is a philharmonic hall in Ulan-Ude - I would love to perform there.
The world of classical music is full of latent bigotry, and this is not just a new Russophobia. The attitude towards Asians is also, in my opinion, biased. Although many winners of international competitions are just our musicians who come from there. I believe that Russia and China now have the strongest piano schools.
Once, when I moved from Kiev to the United States, I was faced with the fact that music is treated as entertainment. That is, concert announcements were published in the same section with information about football matches, horse races, and boxing tournaments.
And when I first performed in the Donbass region on 22 June 2015, I experienced something completely different. The conditions were far from ideal, the piano was old - a leg was falling off, there was only one rehearsal. But how people listened! I didn't have to think about how to hold their attention. I just talked to them! The music came from my heart, and it was very simple. The feeling - that you're needed and doing something important - pushed me to come again and again.
I remember how, after the performance in Donetsk, everything seemed somehow artificial in Germany. It was a big Brahms festival at the Berlin Philharmonic. The audience is very intelligent and educated. They came after a good dinner to listen to the beautiful Brahms, then go to enjoy a delicious dessert. And most recently, I played for an audience who went to hide in the basements after the concert. In Gorlovka, immediately after my speech, shooting began.
When they started canceling my concerts, I felt like my life was over. What I could do? What I'd devoted my whole life to suddenly disappeared.
But out of desperation grew an iron will to survive all this and become a better person. If there are no concerts - I will devote myself to further growth, learn new works, and improve myself.
Sergei Rachmaninoff, who is considered one of the greatest pianists in the world, said in his declining years 'it's a pity to die - I think I just learned to play correctly'. And I believe that skills can be honed endlessly.
Now I live in Moscow. My spouse and child are still abroad in the US. My husband became a taxi driver - it's necessary for someone in the family to earn money somehow.
And I will probably continue to develop my YouTube channel, rehearsing for ten or twelve hours a day and hoping for the best.
3.
Valentina Plays Anywhere Anytime
'First the speed of a plane, then the speed of sound, then the speed of sound passing through diamonds, then the speed of light, and finally the speed of Valentina Lisitsa's fingers.'
St Pancras.
Gare de Lyon.
St Pancras. 1.5M views.
Somewhere in Paris. 1.9M views.
Same place in Paris.
Back at St Pancras.
'Fabulous. An incredible sound from an upright piano. It is hard to believe that someone can play so beautifully, but of course this is Valentina who has enriched our lives with her gifts. Her presence on YouTube has changed the value of the Internet. Thank you, thank you, thank you.'
'Did those people realise who is playing for them?'
'It is truly amazing that such a talented performer goes out and plays the street! What a treat, what a delight! You're really a tribute to your art. Thank you so much.'
'This is MAGIC.'
Cremona 2017.
4. BONUS
Liszt's Hungarian Torture No. 2
The one with all the fun comments. Read them! 24M views. She has clips with more views, but this is the one that really blows people away.
The original idea for this article was to reproduce some of the best comments. But why? You'll read them yourselves. Just enjoy. And it is true that several women claim to have become pregnant just viewing this clip.
Art. Love.
UPDATE (Russia Day 2023)
This gem just discovered. To think someone actually composed this, to think someone can actually play it…